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Last week I posed a question in the group and asked them “if you could say one thing to society about its impact on women and how you want it to change, what would you say?” This month our ladies had impassioned opinions that they voiced regarding this subject.
"We are all so different, that you can’t look body to body and compare. Most importantly though, kindness is needed in this world desperately. "
"I’ve been body shamed in different ways my whole life whether I’ve been heavier or thinner. Family, guys, friends, you name it. When I have been in shape and lost a lot of weight I hear 'You look great but your breasts and ass are gone.' and when I’ve been heavier, it’s been the opposite. If I would see a family friend that I haven’t seen for years they would pinch my belly and make a comment about how I must be eating well. The sad part is I eat once a day because that’s the only way I can lose weight. I worked in a dangerous toxic work environment, then hit several health issues after an injury where I couldn’t be active for over 6 months, and then lost a family member and was grieving. So last year I was the heaviest I’ve ever been, but rather than considering stress, injury, and grief, people comment about how I should consider different diets - assuming I just sit and eat all day.
I know we should be strong and not let other peoples’ words affect us. But each time something like this happens I cry. I wait until I’m not around the person and I cry. Because words hurt. And when the same negative thought is repeated to you over and over throughout your life it’s hard to not believe that’s the truth. We are our own worst critics as is. I’ve been unhappy with my body since grade school, because of this. I’ve ranged since HS literally from size 2 - 22. I have taken so many diet pills and tried so many diet options, paid for personal training, was doing workouts twice a day, etc. I lost weight during quarantine and everyone has applauded me, but they have no idea that I lost it because of depression and loneliness and barely eating. After I had started losing weight there was a number I hoped to hit on the scale, and that day I smiled brightly and clapped, and then turned around, looked in the mirror, and started crying because I could already tell my breast size was about a cup smaller.
Personally, I’ve fought like hell my whole life to battle through the negativity that’s been said to me, and TRY to be happy with my body the way it is. I will never be super thin. Unfortunately in my eyes, I’m not proportionate either - like there are many women smaller than me with larger breasts, so I always feel my ratio is off. BUT, I’m trying to learn not to compare and would tell every female the same. We are all so different, that you can’t look body to body and compare. Most importantly though, kindness is needed in this world desperately. People need to STOP body shaming in any and every way. PERIOD. I used to want nothing but thin, but now I actually love that I’m thicker and I think my curves are sexy. It’s an on-going battle that I don’t know I’ll ever fully overcome, but I’m trying. If people could love one another for who they are vs how their bodies change over time, the world would be a much better place." - Annette
"If we want to see a change, it has to start with us believing that we are good enough right now, just the way we are."
"It needs to start with the self image of society. If a child hears any size is fine as long as you're healthy, but then watches her parents agonize over their weight and adopt unhealthy diets, what lesson does that teach her? Expanding it out to her friend's houses, whether she's thinner or thicker than her friend, if the parents react, even subconsciously both girls can be impacted. The thinner one can feel as though she needs stay thin to continue getting praise, while the thicker becomes jealous (especially if it's her own mother making comments). As adults we forget they (look) at us and model what we do, not necessarily what we say. If we want to see a change, it has to start with us believing that we are good enough right now, just the way we are. Are we allowed to be works in progress? Of course, but we need to appreciate everything we put our bodies through every day and celebrate it by eating as though we love ourselves." - Sarah
"I have stretch marks and saggy boobs but guess what? It doesn’t make me any less of a woman who can model the hell out of my body!"
"What needs to change is how models need to be a size 0, {and if you don't fit that standard} you won’t make it or become one! {What needs to change is this idea that} imperfections are horrible! As a mom who has birthed 3 beautiful babies I’d absolutely love to model as I wanted to as a kid, but now it’s beyond out of the picture because of social media’s views on “correct” {body types for} models. I have stretch marks and saggy boobs but guess what? It doesn’t make me any less of a woman who can model the hell out of my body! I don’t have to be a size 0 to do the same things they do. My body has just been through more positive things than negatives. {I'm not} starving myself to be “perfect”. I’m my own type of perfect. Just like every other woman out there! We are all perfect in our own ways! Even if we have things we would change. You are still beautiful without being a size 0" - Savannah
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