• Jennifer Hennigan

Girl Crushes...

Let me preface this post by explaining what I mean by "Girl Crush". To me a girl crush is when a female has a non-sexual attraction to another female. She thinks she's a wonderful person, and she wants to be best friends with her because she's so amazing, cool, and perfect in every way.


Texas State University Class of 2015

When I was at Texas State University I joined a Catholic Sorority. It was a really positive experience and at the end of the year they had a send off within the sorority where the underclassmen would do affirmations for the graduating seniors. At my send off there was another graduating senior there who I had only interacted with twice, and we had barely spoken either time. When it came time for me to receive affirmations she spoke up, which was unusual because typically only underclassmen did affirmations. She told me "I have to tell you, I love how you always speak your mind. You're always so blunt and cool. To be honest I've kind of had a girl crush on you."


I was shocked and unbelievably flattered. To me that is the ultimate compliment, because a "Girl Crush" has nothing to do with sexual attraction. Romantic crushes in comparison are fleeting, and can be based on looks or what a person can gain by being with you. A Girl Crush is nothing more than someone really appreciating the type of person you are, and wanting your friendship. It's the ultimate compliment because it has solely to do with who you are as a person.


I had never had someone tell me that, and personally one of my biggest insecurities is my personality. I'm afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing and turn people off to me as a person. So for someone to say that without trying I significantly impressed them with my personality with as little interacting as we did, I couldn't help but feel really proud and happy.


As I thought about what she said I started to think about all the women I had known that I had also really admired. I thought to myself though I would never tell them I had a girl crush on them. Then I asked myself "why not?". This girl who I had only interacted with twice told me she had a girl crush on me and I didn't feel weird about it. I felt flattered, and really happy about myself. Why was it so hard for me to openly tell other women I had those kinds of feelings. Wouldn't they feel the same as I did about being told that?


It really got me thinking, why is it so hard to compliment another woman's personality, yet it's so easy to tear other women down? It's so easy to talk freely about people's short comings, or if they did something that was awkward or off putting, and feel no fear about how that person might react if they found out what we said, but it's so hard to openly give a person an honest full-fledged compliment about how they as a person make you feel. Why is it so easy to talk bad about slight flaws in others, but so hard to acknowledge openly extreme positives about different people?


From little on we were told that if you are nice to someone and honest they will be your friend, but life has conditioned us to expect the opposite. That honesty and sincerity will open you up to rejection and hurt. Girl Crushes are not like Romantic Crushes, yet we still feel fear that letting someone know that we think so much of them (even platonically) may lead to rejection or even disgust. Why though? So many of us as adults have complexities and insecurities it makes no sense that a person who is sweet enough and cool enough to capture your platonic attention wouldn't genuinely feel happy to know that they are making such a positive impression on others. As I said, I had only hung out with this girl twice and wasn't freaked out at all to know I had made such a strong impression. If anything I thought "well dang, you should have told me that and we could have been besties and made all these cool memories together hanging out, but I didn't even think you liked me all that much!"


So if you have a friend (guy or girl because you can have a girl crush on a guy too!) who you have a girl crush on share this post with them. Let that person know he/she is special, because there is nothing wrong with telling someone that you think they're amazing and have a great personality, and they have stuck out in your mind as someone who is worth paying attention to. Never be afraid to tell someone that because they deserve to know they are amazing.


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